It has been quite a while since I have written anything. I really wanted to share something that crossed my mind today.
Do we have a right to expect anything from God? I mean God has promised us ONE thing, eternal life, if we believe in Jesus. We are underserving of even that.
Do we have the right to expect anything else from Him? What I mean is, do we live our lives for God expecting Him to bless us? Or do we live for God purely because we love Him and want to honor Him? It is a tough question. Most of us know what we want the answer to be but we don't know our own motives. I know what I want my answer to be, but somehow fleshly desires creep in and Satan whispers in my ear 'You are doing good and your God isn't rewarding you. Hmmmm. Look and see how other people have blessings (money mostly) and they don't believe in God, would He really bless them and not you?' Satan is so very devious.
Sometimes I do feel like I deserve to be rewarded from God. "Ok God, I am doing what you want me to do, now You should bless me."
Our society doesn"t help much either. The U.S. is a very self-centered, greedy society and we all feel like we deserve something for a job well done and that naturally runs over into our spiritual lives. We do well at work and ask for a raise or get a promotion. We eat right and excercise and we naturally look better. We are taught that we are rewarded for a job well done. Not only do we expect our reward, we expect it now.
I feel like the dinner guest who went to the party expecting to be in the seat of honor and then disgraced by being placed at the end of the table. Meaning I do something expecting the reward or praise and am embarrassed when I am "looked over." I often forget that story because I am focused on the 3 stewards. One given five bags of gold, one two bags and the last one bag. The first two men invested the money given to them and multiplied the money for their master and were given more money and responsibilities. The man who was given one bag was afraid to loose the money so he hid it. The master was angry with him and took the money and his job from him. The point is that I feel like I am doing what God wants me to do; using money, time and talents for Him but even so He takes away the fruit of my efforts.
The more I thought about this on my commute this morning the more God brought to my attention how blessed I am. I think I am looking for tangible blessings, such as; more money, a better job for Christian, to own a house and so on. God let me know that He has blessed me. My family is healthy, my son is strong even tho he very well could not be, Christian and I have a great relationship and I could go on and on.
Father, change my attitude. Let me serve You because I love you and I want to. Help me to not expect anything in return other than what You have promised me, eternal life with You. As David prayed, Father, cleanse my heart of all impurities. Rid me of myself, for the Holy Spirit cannot dwell with flesh. Break my heart for what breaks Yours. God, lead my to the cross.