Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Jack-in-the-box

Something happened yesterday.

Something not very pretty happened yesterday.

This thing that happened is not uncommon in our home.

Our 7 year old did something destructive, something senseless, something common for a seven year old boy to do... and my husband and I blew up at him-that's the not pretty yet common thing that happened.

After we had yelled at our child, who was supposed to be going to sleep. My husband and I got into bed, still fuming. A few minutes later Christian got out of bed and went to our sons' room. After 10 minutes or so he came back and talked to me.

"I don't like blowing up at him. I hate when you and I do it, I hate when I see other parents do it to their child. I hate it. I feel like we are telling him whatever he just destroyed is more important than he is."

And he is right. I hate doing it, and I feel terrible afterwards. And angry mama bear comes out when Christian does it. The problem is our emotions get the best of us. This happens most often when I feel ignored or see that our children have destroyed something we, or someone who loves us, has worked hard to buy the kids.

There are many times we see each other blowing up at our boys and want to stop the other person but we don't want to call each other out in front of them. I was always taught that parents need to be united with each other and if you have a problem with the way your spouse is parenting don't address it in front of the kids.

So how do you stop your spouse from blowing up at the kids while you are in front of the kids with out being divided?  Christian and I decided on a code word. Jack-in-the-box.

This word just kinda came to us. But after we thought about it, it's perfect. A Jack-in-the-box gets so wound up that it just HAS to pop out, and when it does, it's crazy.

So, something to think about, something to try. Actually, I hope you don't do this so you won't need to have a code word.

Happy parenting

Cathy.

"Dear brothers and sisters, take note of this. everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19 NIV

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